No one's ever really gone
by QuinnOfConeyIsland
Summary: (SPOILERS FOR TROS) A retelling of the last moment between Rey and Ben and the final scene of the movie in order to make sense of the meaning behind it and also to help myself cope with it. I hope you enjoy!


The air was still. Darkness filled the great chambers of the underground cave, echoing with silence. The battle was over. Evil had been vanquished. But the remnants of that evil were still there. Yes, the battle was won, but at a great cost.

Ben gathered what was left of his strength and made his way over to the body lying on the cold floor. Lifeless eyes stared into endless nothingness. He sat down by her side and gingerly picked her body up into his arms, holding her close. Her skin was as cold to the touch as it looked to his eyes. She was like death itself.

He felt his eyes begin to water and it was getting hard to breathe. He was choking on words left unspoken. There were so many things he had wanted to tell her. Things he had been holding inside of him for far too long. But now it was too late. She was gone. _Rey_ was gone.

As he held her, all he could think of was how it should be him. It should be _his _body lying stone-cold dead on the floor. Not hers. After everything he had done, that is what he deserved. What was he supposed to do now? Where was he supposed to go? He had no family to go back to. They were all dead. They had died for _him! _And for what?

Rey had been his last and only chance at a new life. A new _hope_. When she confessed that she had wanted to take his hand – the hand of Ben Solo – he realized there might still be a chance for him – a chance for _them_ to be together. But now he knew it could never be so. He couldn't live with her. But he couldn't live _without_ her, either.

He knew what he had to do.

And he knew he had the strength to do it.

Placing his hand on her abdomen, he closed his eyes and concentrated all of his energy to transfer his life force into her. He was calm and focused, breathing steadily as he let the Force flow through him.

A spark of hope ignited inside of him as he felt her hand – _Rey's hand!_ – coming to rest upon his own and he opened his eyes to see life return to her. He felt her body shift in his arms and her eyes began to focus. At first it seemed like she didn't know where she was. But then her eyes found him and the hopeful spark he had just felt began to grow, but he was holding it down, not wanting to risk getting hurt should it not be real.

She gave him a look of confusion, like she couldn't believe it, either. But her disbelief soon faded and she smiled upon the realization. Her senses were not deceiving her. They spoke the truth. He was really there.

"Ben."

At the sound of his name coming off her lips, he finally let the spark grow into a wild, roaring fire. It filled him with the warmth of sheer joy, the like of which he had not felt since he was a small child and, for the first time since then, he smiled.

Tentatively, she brought her hand up to touch his face, almost expecting her hand to go through his flesh like a ghost. But it didn't. For the first time ever, she saw him smile and thought how precious and beautiful it was. That's when she knew. This was it. This was the belonging she had sought for so long. It had just taken a while to get there.

Up until this moment, Rey had been so afraid of her feelings. Afraid of what she might become if she surrendered to them. But she wasn't afraid. Not anymore. Looking into Ben's eyes, she saw that the fear was gone. The hate was gone. All that was left was pure, unconditional love. And love should not be feared, but embraced.

Giving in to her feelings, Rey closed the distance between them, their lips meeting in a triumphant kiss. She held onto it, savoring every second of that sweet and tender moment where nothing else mattered except the two of them.

She let their lips break apart, but kept her face close to his. Once again, he smiled, but this time it was more beautiful than anything she had ever seen. He was radiant, like all of the suns in the entire galaxy. Where there once had been conflict and rage, now all Rey could feel within him was peace and joy. His battle with the dark was finally over. And so was hers.

Then she felt it. That odd, familiar feeling she had sensed when Luke and Leia had been pulled from the material world. She watched the smile die upon Ben's face and his eyes close as the last of his strength left him and he fell back onto the floor. Rey leaned over him, holding tightly onto his hand to keep him from being pulled away, but there was nothing she could do to prevent the inevitable.

She watched his body fade beneath her and the hand she'd been holding turned into thin air. The pain which stabbed at her heart made her go numb. It felt like someone had ripped it in two. Like a piece of her was missing, never to return. Just moments before, she had been whole. And now she was only hollow.

Tears spilled from her face as the truth sank in. He was gone. _Ben_ was gone. Once again, she was all alone. But then, a voice inside of her reminded her of where she was. Reluctantly, Rey looked up, lifting her gaze from the spot where she had held her other half and gathered new strength. There was no time for grieving now. She had to get out of this place. She had to get back to the Resistance.

She had to live.

oOo

The desolate dunes of Tatooine spread wide beneath the wings of the Millennium Falcon as she flew above them. Eventually, she landed on the sand covering the entirety of the desert planet to rest for a while. Her pilot and her droid companion stepped out onto solid ground in the evening air. The binary suns of Tatooine would soon set.

Rey stopped to look at the old home of Owen and Beru Lars – the old home of Luke Skywalker. Like her, he had also grown up on a desert planet in the middle of nowhere. And yet, they had both been destined for greater things than the simple, dreary lives that their past homes had represented. But she had a feeling that, even if he had left it behind, this place would always be a part of Luke. He would always be that farm boy from Tatooine, just like she would always be that scavenger from Jakku. And now she had brought a part of him back to this place.

The sabers. That was why she had come here; to bury them with the past, but also to honor the memory of the people they once belonged to. They had trained her well and their sabers had served her well, too. But they were not hers to keep. Not anymore. They had done their job. In their place, Rey had crafted her own saber. She liked to think that one day, maybe someone would bury it with her past as well. Maybe Finn, if he outlived her.

Her train of thought was interrupted by an old woman passing by with her pack animal. The woman was curious to know her name. Her _full_ name. Rey wasn't sure what to answer. Who was she, exactly? It was the one thing she had always longed to know. By blood, she was a Palpatine. She knew that now. But she didn't feel like one. No. She had killed that part of herself. It was not who she wanted to be. It was not where she belonged. The person she _truly_ belonged with… He was gone.

A presence in the Force caught her attention and she looked out over the flat fields to the horizon. Slowly, two shapes appeared in front of her. Luke and Leia smiled at her like the proud parents of the family she had always wanted. And that was when she knew. No one was ever really gone. All of the people she had ever known and cherished lived on in her memory and in her heart. And through his sacrifice, Ben – the last living Skywalker – was alive inside of _her_. They were a dyad in the Force: two souls made one.

Her mind was made up. His sacrifice would not be in vain. She would honor his legacy by carrying it on. With this newfound assurance, she looked back to the old woman with a warm smile on her face and said, "Rey Skywalker."


End file.
